I HAVE A FORUM FOR SELF PROMOTION?!?!?

Ok, my idiot parents neglected to mention this blog to me. Just because my mother, father, and brother are, I don't know, modest DOES NOT mean that I should withhold my fabulousness from the general public. I mean really, what kind of crime would I be committing if I were to deprive all of you fine people of the glory that is me?

So, that being said, HERE I AM! And I suppose I'll allow some input from the rest of the fam...

I'll whet your palate with a few shots of my stylish approach to life:

This is a brief glimpse into my leopard print collection. Thank you Target, my mommy...

....and my Mimi for really throwing herself into the whole leopard-print-bandwagon-thing. Bravo, Mimi, bravo.

And really have you ever been THIS fabulous? It's about time the 'rents realized I needed a sparkly handbag...

Ok, ok, here's my brother. Yeah, ok, he's pretty freakin' cute. Whatever. I'M the only one smart enough to get this blog back up and running. And that title? Um hi, there is more than ONE "baby" in this rye. And my name harkens a modern day jazz singer, not a novel of adolescent angst. I'll have to do something about that.

Ah well...I'm here now---let me know how you feel about that!!!

HJL: A Retrospective (Special Birthday Gnome Installment)

To momentarily whet your appetite until the birthday pictures are posted (yes, Uncle Scott, it is currently the weekend, and no, Holden is not named for a character in Bladerunner...but thanks for checking in...) : ), I give you a

GNOME UPDATE!!!!

1 YEAR OLD:

ONE AND A HALF GNOMES!!!

To refresh your memory, I include:

2 WEEKS OLD: 2/3 GNOME

7 MONTHS OLD: 1 1/4 GNOME

I'm ambulatory!!!

Ok, this picture has nothing to do with my latest trick (oh, and excuse the random edible gunk all over my face). But hey, who DOESN'T appreciate a close up of my gigantic noggin?????

Anyhow, to anyone keeping up with this sort of thing: oh yeah baby, I'M WALKING. Have been for a couple of weeks. Took a few steps about 6 weeks ago, but then I had to take some time to refine my method.

I've gotta tell you, walking in public is a good time because
random strangers think (recall my diminutive stature)
that I'm about 6 or 7 months old.
I (and my mother, I must admit) REALLY love messing with their heads.
heh, heh, heh...

American cheese, AGAIN?

"Really people, where's the foie gras? The braised squab? The caramelized leeks? How do you expect me to refine my palate with such proletarian gruel?"

Look how I've grown (lap edition)!

On Mommy's lap at 3 months:





On Mommy's lap at 10 months:




(Mommy keeps trying to tell herself that it's a matter of her lap shrinking.

Ah, the power of delusion...)

The Uncle Brigade: Scott

And finally, I give you:

Uncle Scott(er Botter*)


*nickname he's outgrown with everyone except my mother, it seems...


Ok, Uncle Scott lives in Oakland, so, much like Uncle Sachin, I don't get to see him nearly enough. However, as a Leathers, he comes from a long line of obnoxious histrionic crazies (my mother has been duking out my Grammie for the title of Queen for years now)...thus the more abundant selection of pictures. So here we go:




We met when I was a mere 12 weeks old. But it was immediately a meeting of the minds (note my "Fight the power" stance)



I was so excited to see my uncle again at Christmas, that I drooled all over myself.


We got to enjoy such fun activities as:


Reenacting "Crossfire" transcripts



Sharing a healthy respect for the Leathers Oral Fixation



And just rolling around on the ground like fools.


Can't wait to see you again, Uncle Skizott!!

Attempted Great Escapes

Polite:



"Excuse me, would someone be so kind as to let me out?"


Forceful:



"Perhaps if I just just shove my head through this netting..."


Athletic:



"Oh damn, I didn't see that wall there."

Sneaky:



"What baby? I don't see a baby. I don't know what you're talking about..."

The Uncle Brigade: Sachin

Here's my Uncle Sachin and an elbowcentric shot of my Aunt Megan:



He and my "Aunt"-Megan-who's-going-to-become-my-Aunt-Megan-in-August live in Seattle, so my photographic opportunities have been woefully rare.But I'm going to don a tux and my natty best for the big wedding,
so rest assured that quality documentation of me and my Uncle Sach/Aunt Megan will be in abundance come Fall.

In the meantime:

This is when we met. I was a mere 3 months old!

Actually, I was so jazzed to meet them, I slept for SIX HOURS STRAIGHT for the first time (it must have been some sort of voodoo powers or something because I came to and remembered to wake up 10 times a night again after about 3 weeks...)

This was Thanksgiving, so I'm almost 9 months old here. That stunned look on my face is a result of the sudden realization that someone in the world is actually whiter than my mother. Woa.

Well, there you go! More to come of this fabulous branch of my family whenever I get to see them again!!

Back to Basics

Ok, I've FINALLY managed to eke out a second, so let's just take a moment to remember why we're all here:

CUTE BABY!!!!

Coming this week: The Uncle Brigade continues on!

The Uncle Brigade: David

Since I get to live in the same city as Uncle David, I get to party with him on a regular basis. As a result, he has the best selection of pictures out of all my uncles. Way to go man. Way to go.

Here he is, the man himself, Uncle (Baby)* David!


*Note: My mommy insists on calling him Baby David, despite the fact that the poor guy is 27 years old. She seems to get some sort of sadistic thrill out of it. Good thing my Uncle is the World's Most Low Key Fellow, or he might have smacked her upside the head by now.

UD was the only blood relative

(other than my parents, obviously)

who met me on the very day I was born!*

*Note: This was taken very shortly before he ran screaming out of the room upon the realization that his sister's boob was going to be unsheathed. It was the beginning of a longstanding pattern...

This is UD and his way-long-term girlfriend, Aunt Dana.

She was ALSO there the day I was born!

And I bet this picture freaks them both out just a little bit. Heh, heh, heh...



This is when I peed on my Uncle. Awesome.



And this is in the Holden Photographic Hall of Fame.

My whole family wigs over this picture.

Whatever people--I was 4 months old,

and you just can't tell me those damn sunglasses aren't fascinating...



Finally, as previously mentioned, Christmas was really friggin' tiring.

And my Uncle David is really friggin' cozy.



I LOVE YOU UNCLE DAVID!!!

Fun game: How many KC Chiefs shirts does Dave actually own?

These pictures seem to give some indication...

MY FIRST CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

Ok, this holiday ROCKS! I had no idea so much paper could be gathered together in JUST ONE PLACE!!! Wow. Will wonders never cease??? Allow me to tell you of my day in pictures*:

The holiday started off not so well...I mean really, what am I supposed to be? A freakin' elf?!?! I swear, the ongoing indignity of it all...



But then...LOOK AT ALL THIS PAPER!!!



And wait, I GET TOYS??? Look at this snazzy one from my Grammie/Mimi (really, Grandmother, pick a name or I shall deem you Maude once I am able to eke out a few words...)



And again: PAPER PAPER PAPER!



THERE ARE BOWS, TOO?!?!?
Wow! It's like Chr...um, wait...



This is exhausting. I need a snuggle break with my Mamaw (my great grandmother).



But you can't keep me from the paper for too long!



I SAID YOU CAN'T KEEP ME FROM THE PAPER!!



What? My very own genuine Time Warner cable remote from my Daddy? I can't...there aren't...I mean I just...it's so...I'm overwhelmed with emotion...must eat this too...



Ok, no one mentioned that I needed to pace myself. I'll take note for Christmas 2005 (particularly considering the addition of the tryptophan factor this year...woa.)



MERRY CHRISTMAS (about two weeks late...what's a guy to do?)!!

*Note to my uncles: An anonymous uncle (unmask yourself, my man) has applied a little bit of pressure about giving y'all some blog face time. Until now I have been reticent to put family pics out there without permission. But I'm caving to the pressure. So Uncles David, Scott, and Sachin (and Aunt Megan): you have a couple of days to tell me to not to post your pics, otherwise your visages will be out there for the world to see. And given my (doubtlessly) worldwide readership, you should consider whether you are prepared for the onslaught of fame. Give it some thought.

C'mon now!

MUST my snowsuit have ears??? And what am I supposed to be anyway? A puppy? A forlorn rabbit? A Smurf-bred sheep? Heavy sigh...

Visiting hours

Except no one is sure which one is in jail...

Christmas shopping

Holden feels the same way about shopping as I do. Ah, that's my boy!!

"You cannot contain me.

First it's a foot, but give me time and

I will soon break completely free of this hell.

You just wait."

Oh, by the way,

I HAVE A TOOTH!!

Forgot to mention it. And I'm pretty sure another one is about to tear through my gums (LOVING that, don't ya know...). The truly glorious thing about this development is the fact that now I can REALLY bite my mommy! Oh yeah, good times.

Went to the doctor yesterday for my 9 month check up, and here are my latest stats:

15 pounds, 12 ounces (less than 5th percentile, my status quo, but I've WAY more than TRIPLED my birth weight!)

27 inches (10th percentile)

And, I can't remember the exact measurement, but the official word on the street is that:

I HAVE A GIGANTIC NOGGIN!!! My melon is in the 50th percentile!! Doc says no worries unless it really starts to balloon. Unfortunately, he blew my cover with the 'rents and warned them all about my genius intellect. It's okay, though...a minor blip on the path of my eventual world domination...